‘It was an extremely rough time for me.’

16112853_736843896488794_2089965908507953920_o

“In my AS year, I got 3 Cs in Sciences and an A in Psychology. Forced to start from scratch, I made up my mind to retake 2 of my Cs and took 1 accelerated course, left Psychology, my only A, and hard-earned TA-ship alongside, to focus on my sciences. While all my friends were adding to their lists of achievements, I was still struggling with my grades. During my retake preparation, I often ended up in tears, thinking how all my previous year’s hard work had been in vain.
It was an extremely rough time for me. I was judged as someone who messed up sciences because of Psychology or was told that I have the wrong subjects. So I isolated myself. I had this persistent headache that never went and gained weight due to stress-eating. I got compared to a lot of my peers and even my own sister who got astonishing grades MashaAllah. But we’re all different you see. People never realize that. I felt I was not good enough and was not living up to the expectations. It took me hours to pull myself up but only a few insensitive words from someone to break me all over again. I wanted to work hard and go back to life. So I worked with more conviction this time and managed to pull 2 of my Cs to Bs in retakes. Having been someone who never got more than 40th percentile in AS Bio, I got a 3.5 CGPA in A2.
Helping the people around me became of my coping mechanism. First through Nixor Hospital, and even after not getting an executive post, I continued teaching through TSKL. I have never cared about credit. Good intentions and hard work do not require rewards. Although I haven’t given my parents any reasons to be proud yet they believed in my ability to come back stronger. My dad was a constant motivator apart from some close friends. In fact, he’s surer than I am about me making it to med school.
I just want to say even if you think you’re working hard, ensure you’re working hard in the right direction as well. Times like these lead to hopelessness, but somewhere between losing ourselves in all the darkness, we end up discovering new sides to us too. It’s surely been a struggle for me. But that is the biggest treasure I am taking with me from here.”

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s